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Fantastic question; significant overlap with my situation.
I've got a couple of disorganized observations in response.
Developers are never really asked for estimates by PM's but we are asked early in project initiation for a "rough guess" on level of effort, but even then the dates that appear on the Gantt chart don't seem to correlate with any numbers we provide.
However, your question is only looking at a couple of components impacting project success, namely schedule and resources.The program plan shows the next milestone as Date X; we are Y% likely to meet that date.The overall program plan shows program completion on Date W; we are Z% likely to meet that date.First, planning without the team violates the assumptions in the PMBOK.I don't mean to treat the PMBOK as gospel, but I've found that pointing out that a given practice is at odds with the PMBOK is enough to get the audience to listen to my next two sentences; it is vital that the next two sentences be worth listening to.