Funny application for dating my son internet dating and marriage statistics
It is very loud and it activates a large red light, which mom can see. She would be confused and somewhat distressed trying do some of the current dance rages where the couples do not touch but move body and limbs in what appears to be a random fashion. When you show up for your date, I will expect you to fill out a brief questionnaire.
Also, you should make no untoward or dirty inferences about the red light. If you take mom out for a meal do not feed her nuts or anything with small seeds, like blackberries. The rule seems to be if you have a body part that will move, you should shake it vigorously without regard to the tempo or rhythm of the music. She likes the orange flavor with a small glass of prune juice. Mom generally goes to sleep around , both AM and PM. Also, please remember to bring a copy of your most recent income tax return.
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. ) _______________________________ ________________________________ Mother's Signature Father's Signature _______________________________ ________________________________ Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________ SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________ HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______ Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No If No, explain: ______________________________________________________________ Number of years they have been married ______________________________ If less than your age, explain ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ACCESSORIES SECTION: A. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).
Have you seen the "10 Rules for Dating My Daughter?
I always get a chuckle out of that when it came around!
If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.I'm sure you've are enlightened about sex, and have all the latest information on diseases and methods of contraception.You may even be using one of these methods, "just in case". Well, I'd like to offer one wee extra bit of information for your general edification - if you even THINK of touching my son in an intimate fashion, I will break every bone in your hands - no questions asked - just to helpfully remind you of my favorite method of contraception, which is this nifty "new" idea called "abstinence" until marriage...The book, which is the springboard for the television series by the same name, is very well written and if you haven’t read it, you should. She actually does not hear car horns—or thunder, or gunfire in the back yard. The sleep occurs about the same time each night no matter where she is--the restaurant, the theater, driving home in a car, etc.In the off chance that you haven’t read the book I will summarize the eight rules. Be civilized and walk up to the front door and ring the bell. The kind of dancing where couples actually touch each other and move their bodies and limbs in time to the music. She sleeps very soundly and you would still be responsible for getting her home. What I’m saying is that surely you don’t want to try to explain to concerned bystanders why you are carrying what appears to be a dead body out of the restaurant. I’m sure my mother would be quite interested in dating the right man.