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You shouldn’t have to feel bad if you are two consenting adults who understand the situation, whatever it may be.The thing is though, that many times people don’tproperly understand the situation here and aren’t honest with each other, and that’s where hurt feelings and stereotypes start flowing into the discussion.Similarly, while I suspect that many of these ideas still apply to some extent if you are a foreign girl looking to date a Chinese guy, or with gay/lesbian dating in China, I unfortunately cannot offer any first-hand accounts of these types of relationships.I welcome the input of our readers in the comments section below! You always hear about foreign guys coming to hook up with innocent Chinese girls and then leaving them the next day.this is actually more common in china then in america.(lying and misleading women just to have sex with them) about 10 of these women date foreigners or have dated foreign men. a few guys told my friends that they had a gf in their home country and were only looking for a relationship while in china.When two Chinese go on a first date, especially dates organized by their mothers or a coven of plotting ayis, it can be a fairly serious affair, even with children/families/marriage discussed in some cases. However, at least in America, we will go on dates with people we hardly even know/like for something interesting to do, a chance at an actual future together, and—this is important—the potential for a mutually-agreed upon sexual relationship.I’m not saying one is more preferable or better than the other, but when you are going on a date with a Chinese or foreign partner, you have to keep in mind how they might be viewing the encounter.
The heart of this issue comes from the fact that dating, relationships and sex in Western countries is far more casual than in China, even in bigger, more metropolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai.3) Stability I have had the opportunity to discuss “stability” with many older Chinese, and this is the big thing I hear from many Chinese parents. Possibly a seven or eight year pit stop, but a pit stop nonetheless.It’s not so much that they don’t like foreigners, it’s just that there is a stereotype—founded or unfounded—that expats in China are far less stable than their Chinese counterparts. We’ll go back home or move to another country eventually; the parents of your “qin ai de” know this and will take that into consideration.Like any relationship, cross-cultural or not, it’s all about give and take.Don’t feel ashamed or guilty if you assert yourself on an issue honestly.
The topic is a perennial favorite on Chinese forums and Weibo.